The Blues Rules - Druckversion +- Das große deutschsprachige Gitarrenforum (https://gitarrenboard.de) +-- Forum: Musikboard (https://gitarrenboard.de/forumdisplay.php?fid=4) +--- Forum: Musiktheorie (https://gitarrenboard.de/forumdisplay.php?fid=16) +--- Thema: The Blues Rules (/showthread.php?tid=12970) |
RE: The Blues Rules - Niteblind - 09-11-2004 Hier sind ein paar fundamentale Regeln für den Blues If you are new to the blues, or like it but never really understood the why and wherefores, here are some fundamental rules: 1. Most Blues begin with: \"Woke up this morning ...\" 2.\" I got a good woman\" is a bad way to begin the blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, \" I got a good woman with the meanest face in town.\" 3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes ... sort of: \"Got a good woman with the meanest face in town Got a good woman with the meanest face in town Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pounds.\" 4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch ... Ain´t no way out. 5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don´t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state sponsored motor pools ain´t even in the running. Walking plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin´to die. 6. Teenagers can´t sing the Blues. They ain´t fixin´to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues \"adulthood\" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis. 7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City, Memphis and New Orleans are still the best places to have the Blues. You can´t have the blues in any place that don´t get rain. 8. A man with a male pattern baldness ain´t the Blues. A woman with a male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg ´cause you we´re skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg ´cause an alligator be chomping on it is. 9. You can´t have the Blues in an office or an shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster. 10. Good places for Blues: Highway Jailhouse Empty bed Bottom of a whiskey glass (big time !) 11. Bad places for the Blues: Gallery openings Golf courses Jewellery 12. No one will believe it´s the Blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an ol´ person and you slept in it. 13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues ? Yes, if: You´re older than dirt You´re blind You shot a man in Memphis You can´t be satisfied No, if: You have all your teeth You were once blind but now can see The man in Memphis survived You have a trust fund 14. Blues is not a matter of color. It´s a matter of luck. Tiger Woods can´t sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues. 15. If you ask for water and your darlin´ gives you gasoline, it´s the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: Cheap wine Whiskey or Bourbon Muddy water Black coffee The following are NOT Blues beverages: Perrier Chardonnay Snapple Slim Fast 16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it´s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely in broken-down cot. You can´t have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction. 17. Blues names for women: Sadie Big Mama Bessie Fat River Dumpling Some Blues names for men: Joe Willie Little Willie Big Willie 19. Persons with names like Amber, Ashley, Debbie, Heather and Jennifer can´t sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis. 20. I don´t care how tragic your life is, if you own a computer YOU CAN´T SING THE BLUES, PERIOD ! - CmdrData - 10-11-2004 Besser kann man`s nicht ausdrücken -- Das grösste Verbrechen eines Musikers ist es, Noten zu spielen, statt Musik zu machen.(Isaak Stern) - ghetto - 10-11-2004 ;D ;D ;D ;D Gruß, -- And then one night in desperation, a young man breaks away. He buys a gun, steals a car, tries to run but he don´t get far in the GHETTO - babarossa - 10-11-2004 Antrag auf Ausnahme zu Punkt 1: wenn wir nach dem Ableben in der ewigen Verdammnis den Blues zupfen, darf er auch beginnen mit: \"Well, I didnt wake up this morning, ...\". -- PS: Ich suche immer Leute für Jam-Sessions im Raum Braunschweig, Gifhorn, Wolfsburg und Umgebung! - Ralfi - 10-11-2004 @Niteblind Yupp.... passt. Zitat:Original von Niteblind:Der Spruch läßt immer wieder erahnen, unter welchen Umständen der Gute letzte Nacht zur Ruhe gekommen ist. I) Ein Beispiel gibt es auch in den MS, siehe IBBK-Special Rider. :-D -- Ralfi Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away - Niteblind - 10-11-2004 Ich werde mal einen Song in die MS schieben, der den letzten Punkt widerlegt. - cottonman - 11-11-2004 Sch....e, da komm ich aus Memphis zurrueck, und lese jetzt erst, dass der Kerl nicht mehr zappeln darf..... Muss ich wohl doch von nun an Schlager singen...... Saludos, cottonman -- Wenn es fuer euch schon Morgen ist, ist es fuer mich noch Heute... |